Day 4 Round 1 HCG Protocol

Hi Everyone,

Day 4 went much smoother. The headache was mostly gone and my hunger level was much better than the day before. One thing I've noticed more is the thoughts going through my head...feelings of quiet desperation, thinking this probably won't work for me, hating the way I look and feel a lot of the time. Mostly, it is hard to remain positive that this is going to work. One of the things that keeps me going is my supportive and loving husband. Another thing is to view a few video logs (Vlogs) on www.youtube.com and see the successes of other people. Night time is the hardest. It does take some willpower to do this, even though the weight is coming off. In the past, I have exerted tremendous willpower, usually with fleeting results that are hard won and easily lost. I so wish that vegetables tasted better. My husband loves healthy food like vegetables. Now, why didn't I get those taste buds. I grew up on a farm and I would have to say next to ice cream and homemade cookies, mashed potatoes and gravy or my next favorites. I think I have been trying to lose weight off and on, since I was 12 years old. All of the other girls in high school (well, at least most of them) had these skinny, curvy teenage bodies. I felt like a lump of clay. In college, I lost about 40 lbs., danced, and enjoyed a few "skinny years." That lasted until after the birth of my first baby. Slowly over the years the weight has crept on, then off, then on again. Diabetes runs on both sides of my family and makes me nervous. I like to pretend like it won't happen to me, that I am somehow immune. But, as my tummy girth has increased, my overall "chance" for getting it has increased. I would like to say that is why I am trying this HCG protocol. But, it isn't. I'm sick and tired of looking like I'm about 8 months pregant (I gain weight on my tummy the most.) Even when I was 12 years old, girls at my church would tease me and say that I was pregnant. It was a very painful experience. Even then, I was struggling with a plump tummy. We have this picture in the family of my sister who was nine months pregnant, my mother who wasn't pregnant, and my grandmother. My mother and grandmother poked their tummies out to match my sister's. Sad, but true, they all looked about the same. My grandmother loved ice cream and cookies. I loved her and together we shared that love of some of the same delightful, but not healthy foods.

I haven't shared with my doctors that I have changed the directions she gave me on the dosage and that I am splitting it into two dosages. Hopefully, she will understand.

This morning I weighed 183 lbs a lost of 2.2 lbs. from yesterday. I have lost all of my loading days fat and .8 lbs. of my original weight. Yeh!